January 1, 2015, marked 21st of our wedding anniversary. On that day, I promised to go forward without looking back, prepared to face the rigors of marriage and settle as a responsible man. Before then finding or choosing the right woman to be my future partner was like a nightmare, taking into consideration the number of people getting the divorce every day after tying the knot.
Yes! It’s very common to see hundreds of couples at wedding ceremonies, particularly on Sundays, making vows and promises to love each other, bringing an entire room to tears. After the wedding or traditional marriage, starts a big celebration together with family and friends, with the couple full of hopes and dreams, but like the fading sun, many marriages fail to last. Marriages are now characterized by many problems to the extent that many fear of marrying.
As a matter of fact, marriage is a journey not only full of happiness but pain, tragedies, misery, sadness and uncertainty. Even though there are hundreds of articles online and books on how to be the successful couple to enjoy a happy marriage, many marriages end up in separation or divorce. The question is: Why some marriages last forever and others disintegrate?
There are many reasons leading to the break-up of marriages, but most reasons are not spending enough time together, cheating, allowing bitterness and resentment to overrule the heart, hard to forgive, financial issues and if the man or woman doesn’t know how to cook. Joining together and making vows are very easy but results of some bitter separations and divorces could be disastrous.
Some break-up of marriages has led partners to mental institutions and others after a long time still find it difficult to come to terms with what had happened to them. If children are involved some are badly affected depending how old they are. It is unfortunate that many couples do not recognize the Holy Bible as one of the best books that could guide marriage to happiness. Gen 49:4, Mal 2:14, Matt 23:30, Deut 24:5, Mark 12:23 etc, all speak about marriages.
When I got married I realized that wealth doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage, but faithfulness, respect, fulfilling your commitments and equally sharing responsibilities. I have enjoyed a happy marriage over two decades, knowing that there is more happiness ahead of me, because I have a good wife, who loves and respects me, while I give back the same love and respect to her.
On many occasions when my wife is busy at work and I’m at home, I usually ask her what she would like me to cook. By the time she returns food is ready for her and the children. Taking such responsibility strengthens marriage. I have heard many times men saying, “I’m not stupid to let my woman knows how much I earn.” That’s a big mistake, one of the strongest foundations of marriage is transparency.
When you are a married man, don’t hide anything from your wife. Your wife is the one who can manage your finances very well if there are trust and mutual understanding. Many times, I forget that I have even given her money to keep for me until she reminds me. ‘A woman is like a beautiful flower in the middle of garden and the man is the fence around her.’ Give your wife the respect, love and protection she needs and surely you will also be a happy man.