My Name Is Savage, But I am Not Savage

Big Joe 5“Whatever happens to me benefits me.” – Joel Savage

Why many do ask me if ‘Savage’ is my real name? Once a British woman told me she hates her name ‘Mrs Ball’ and worst of all, my father’s name is ‘Mr. Underworld,’  she said. Yes, many of us have strange names. Some do change and others keep them.

I was born Joel Savage, at Cape Coast, in the central region of Ghana, on January 19, 1957, to Justin Savage, a professional journalist and Nancy-Elizabeth Hudson, an accomplished seamstress and a sewing teacher.

Last year, during my summer holidays in Barcelona, Spain, I gave one of my books to a student I met at the hotel I lodged. At the computer hall, I was flabbergasted when I saw his friends laughing at my name. I pretended I wasn’t listening to their conversation.

Then on January 1, 2016, history repeats itself. At the Kotoka International Airport in Accra, Ghana, when ready to board my flight, an officer at the last checkpoint controlled my passport and the only question he threw at me is: How do you pronounce this word? Pointing directly to the name, “Savage,” I answered.

“Well, I’m glad that you mentioned it yourself, because I thought that may provoke you if I had said the same thing.” He said and gave back my passport to me.

If names have impact on people, then I am exceptional. I am happily married since 1993 and still live with the same woman. If I’m savage, uncivilized, cruel or a beast, my wife wouldn’t have been with me today. My three sons can stand behind me and tell everyone how caring and compassionate their father is.

What I know about myself is, I have intrepid sort of character. I don’t give up and no one can break me down physically, psychologically, emotionally or spiritually. In my life, I take any misfortune as beneficial and every problem as a challenge, because you can’t survive in this world if you submit to problems.

This is the reason many people are depressed, alcoholics or drug addicts. Because they don’t have the will power to fight and overcome those destructive tendencies. Savage is just a name but it has no influence on me. I believe in God and the Bible is my shield and Armour.

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Can Home Cooking Build A Happy Marriage?

Cooking 4

Falling in love is a wonderful and magical experience between two people. The chemistry is strange and sometimes very complicated. The experience differs in many ways but the commonest are happiness, restlessness and strong emotions. However; falling in love doesn’t always guarantee a successful marriage or living together. Frankly speaking, according to statistics many are getting divorce more than getting together.

To build and support successful marriage or relationships, many partners read books written as a guide to happy marriage. Despite hundreds of books counseling couples, lovers are constantly in pain, emotionally and psychologically, affected by painful love affairs. The causes of divorces or separations vary, lack of attention, sex, cheating, quarrels, financial matters and others. However; few things many never thought of as destroyer of marriages is the lack of cooking at home and lack of prevention of early sex in teenage relationship.

Many couples friendship began at school as teenagers before they settled. In principle, it is always good for people to study and know each other very well, before entering into relations or love affairs. But on moral issues entering into relationships as teenagers isn’t a wise thing to do. Children as young as thirteen and fourteen indulged in caressing and kissing. This is seen as normal in advanced countries but in Africa, it is not permitted.

Most of these early relationships end up in separate ways or settling together.When they finally get married, the love isn’t strong as before. That’s where the problems begin. In this case, the marriage doesn’t go far. Why? The reason is simple and logical. Both have seen their nakedness too much as teenagers to the extent that they no longer value their precious bodies as adults. No happiness and the essence of enjoying a happy relationship is completely ruined.

Here the dignity and the worthiness of the woman have been neglected and abused by the man. It is always the man that causes the breakup because he wants something new. Many start to cheat and stayed late at work in illicit love affairs. A woman or man may find the real happiness in life, marriage, living together or in relationships, when they enter into love affairs as adults than as teenagers.

Any man or woman who doesn’t know how to cook before getting into a relationship or marriage may not fully enjoy the relationship. There is always a guarantee for a happy marriage when one of the partners knows how to cook but if both can’t cook means the marriage have a bleak future. Imagine a family depending always on fast food or tin foods. How would a husband feel after a day’s hard work, comes home to sit behind the dining table and be served with can spaghetti, with that marshy tomato sauce? Many enjoy that but that’s health hazard.

A man facing such situation may never be happy. Some may speak against it but many hide the way they feel when upset. Since he can’t live with that any longer he starts to seek his interest in other places. That’s where the cheating starts. If the one he is seeing can’t provide him those delicious meals he is missing from his previous partner, the relationship automatically comes to an end.

It is therefore very essential for both men and women to learn or know how to cook before getting into a relationship or marriage. Getting familiar with cooking isn’t a difficult issue. There are thousands of books and adult schools for cooking. Time factor is always an issue. Many may not have the time to go to a cooking school after work. Here a cooking book is very useful.

Just follow the instructions on how to cook and next thing is the delicious meal on the dining table. You may not be perfect at your first attempt but remember practice makes man perfect. Besides, cultivating the habit of cooking at home saves a lot of money. I am happily married for the past twenty years. When my wife is busy at work, I do the cooking for the children. This is the only way to share the secrets of why our marriage is stronger than ever. I am a very good cook apart from my writing career.