The 5 Biggest Regrets People Have Before They Die

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Original article published by: Theneeds

Want to hear the strangest thing on earth? Death is perhaps the most constructive fact of our existence. Being aware of death throughout your life can beget the healthiest attitude: one of perspective.

Countless people throughout history knew this too. The ancient Greeks used to “practice death every day,” and the Toltecs would use death as “fuel to live and to love.” The constant reminder ensured they would live more boldly, more kindly, and with less fear.

The Good News About Death

Here’s how the morbid subject can actually benefit us: Our limited days on earth are the ultimate impetus to live with less fear and more intention.

The majority of the time, many of us live as if there will be no end to our days. We stay in unfulfilling careers. We remain in unhappy relationships. We will travel the world “one day.” We fail to tell people how much they matter to us. We hide our real truth, gifts, or talents from the world because we are scared of being judged and criticized.

Losing a parent when I was young made this much more real for me. I felt blessed to come to the realization of how precarious and precious life is while still in my younger years. But you don’t need a loss early in your life to take advantage of the wisdom that awaits you. Learn from people who know.

One of my favorite books is Bronnie Ware’s international bestseller The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Ware was a hospice nurse in Australia for several years and cared for patients in the last few weeks of their lives. She writes with incredible clarity how similar regrets surfaced again and again.

Surprise, surprise: There was no mention of insufficient status; undelivered revenge; or sadness over not being the thinnest, prettiest, or most famous. These were the most common regrets. (Numbers one and five could make me weep.)

The 5 Most Common Regrets

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all,” Ware writes. “When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks, and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.”

I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content.”

http://www.theneeds.com/sport/n11304408/the-5-biggest-regrets-people-have-before-greatist

My Happy 21st Wedding Anniversary

 

Wedding anniversary

Marriage is a journey of commitment and sharing of responsibilities

January 1,  2015, marked 21st of our wedding anniversary. On that day, I promised to go forward without looking back, prepared to face the rigors of marriage and settle as a responsible man. Before then finding or choosing the right woman to be my future partner was like a nightmare, taking into consideration the number of people getting the divorce every day after tying the knot.

Yes! It’s very common to see hundreds of couples at wedding ceremonies, particularly on Sundays, making vows and promises to love each other, bringing an entire room to tears. After the wedding or traditional marriage, starts a big celebration together with  family and friends, with the couple full of hopes and dreams, but like the fading sun, many marriages fail to last. Marriages are now characterized by many problems to the extent that many fear of marrying.

As a matter of fact, marriage is a journey not only full of happiness but pain, tragedies, misery, sadness and uncertainty. Even though there are hundreds of articles online and books on how to be the successful couple to enjoy a happy marriage, many marriages end up in separation or divorce. The question is: Why some marriages last forever and others disintegrate?

Seeing my wife gives me happiness

Francisca Savage

There are many reasons leading to the break-up of marriages, but most reasons are not spending enough time together, cheating, allowing bitterness and resentment to overrule the heart, hard to forgive, financial issues and if the man or woman doesn’t know how to cook. Joining together and making vows are very easy but results of some bitter separations and divorces could be disastrous.

Some break-up of marriages has led partners to mental institutions and others after a long time still find it difficult to come to terms with what had happened to them. If children are involved some are badly affected depending how old they are. It is unfortunate that many couples do not recognize the Holy Bible as one of the best books that could guide marriage to happiness. Gen 49:4, Mal 2:14, Matt 23:30, Deut 24:5, Mark 12:23 etc, all speak about marriages.

When I got married I realized that wealth doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage, but faithfulness, respect, fulfilling your commitments and equally sharing responsibilities. I have enjoyed a happy marriage over two decades, knowing that there is more happiness ahead of me, because I have a good wife, who loves and respects me, while I give back the same love and respect to her.

On many occasions when my wife is busy at work and I’m at home, I usually ask her what she would like me to cook. By the time she returns food is ready for her and the children. Taking such responsibility strengthens marriage. I have heard many times men saying, “I’m not stupid to let my woman knows how much I earn.” That’s a big mistake, one of the strongest foundations of marriage is transparency.

When you are a married man, don’t hide anything from your wife. Your wife is the one who can manage your finances very well if there are trust and mutual understanding. Many times, I forget that I have even given her money to keep for me until she reminds me. ‘A woman is like a beautiful flower in the middle of garden and the man is the fence around her.’ Give your wife the respect, love and protection she needs and surely you will also be a happy man.

Marriage means happiness not a burden

Family Savage: At home with Francisca and Little Joe