If One Pretends To Be Dead, Mourners Will Pretend To Bury You Alive

problem 1

Discussing your problems with someone you love is the best way to get help and solutions to the problem.

“If one pretends to be dead, mourners will pretend to bury you alive,” is one of the thousands of African proverbs meant to educate, shape our lives and inspire us, as each proverb carries a moral lesson, advice, and wisdom. This particular proverb speaks against pretending.

As imperfect human beings, we are responsible for both the good and bad things we do. Whichever way one takes it, to pretend is also considered to be something bad. The question is why do people pretend? According to a study, pretending has both advantages and disadvantages.

Sometimes one needs to pretend. For example, when all of a sudden in a cinema hall, a gunman on a shooting spree takes everyone by surprise without any escaping route, pretending to be dead among those already dead could save your life. But in other ways, pretending can cause self-destruction, depression, loneliness and other psychological problems. How?

The pressure in the society is enormous. Things are not going well, yet many people prefer to hide their problems behind a false smile. If you don’t share your problem with your family or a trustworthy friend, how can someone know your problem to give the attention or help you need? Researchers reveal that hiding a problem behind a false smile or faking happiness, is more likely to bring you harmful feelings.

You might not be happy with your job, because your boss or a colleague is sexually harassing you, exploiting you physically, emotionally and mentally, yet you wear a false smile behind such psychological scars. Instead of pretending to be okay, it’s always better to tell your problem to someone to receive help.

Many wish to be someone, because of the extravagant lives other people live. But we must be careful about what we sometimes wish for. We must be content with whatever we have to live a happy life. Don’t let your neighbor’s expensive car, push you to live beyond your means, and put on a fake smile, deceiving people that you are living great, while you know that you are struggling to make ends meet.

In Africa and other countries around the world, many are believed to be sick of HIV but scared to go and see the doctor, because they aren’t ready to be told they have contracted HIV or Aids.  They rather prefer to hide their problems with a fake smile, forgetting that no one drinks medicine on the behalf of a sick person.

To pretend that everything is okay, while suffering, is not good for our health, we must, therefore, confine our problems to those close to us for help and solutions. That’s the only way we can overcome and defeat our problems.

What Is It Like To Be A Woman?

Proverb 4

One of Marilyn Monroe’s quote which reveals how unique, special and different a woman is.

I am a married man for the past 21 years, yet I can’t say I know a lot about women. My wife gets angry with me sometimes, when I know I’m right and she is wrong. But since I don’t want to lean upon my understanding, which may be wrong, I quickly apologize to her to create a happy atmosphere once again.

I work at a place with over forty female teachers. I ‘m always scared to smile, paranoid maybe, because I don’t want any of the ladies there to have in mind that I want her. I, therefore, maintain a serious mood at my workplace. Unfortunately, I was doing more harm to myself than good.

In the first year, I realized pure hatred from some of the teachers towards me. Action speaks louder than words, so don’t ask me how I know that they hate me, please. In fact, some people can’t control their emotions when they hate you. Many pretend they haven’t seen me, even though I’m very close to those tempting bodies, fashion and magic perfumes.

The hate towards me increased to a certain level that I decided to find a solution immediately, to present myself a faithful and trustful person among them. I started greeting those I’ve never greeted at the school before. Some just walked away without response but some gave me recognition and responded. That encouraged me to continue the greetings.

Did I forget myself as an African, when there is a proverb in Africa that says a woman is a beautiful flower in the middle of the garden and the man is the fence around it? Did I also forget that in Mexico, it is said men that treat women very good were brought up by queens?

“If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy. … Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” Did I also forget this great quote from the reggae legend, Bob Marley?

Once you have a clean heart and ready to change things in your life, you will be successful. I became friendlier with a broad smile on my face daily. Once I met one of the ladies who hate me most, with a cup of coffee in one hand and books in the other hand, trying to open a door and I rushed like the late Christopher Reeve in his Super Man series, to open the door for her.

Proverb

An African proverb revealing the greatness and importance of a woman in the society.

It was that very day, she asked of my name and she told me hers. Since then we communicate regularly and laugh over many things. In life, never judge a woman wrongly. Like every human being, some are introverts and others extrovert. Some may be very quiet but that doesn’t mean that they hate you, while others quickly engage in conversation with you.

So what is it like to be a woman? Don’t feel great or superior to a woman. Respect her opinion and don’t underestimate her. That will open the way to know her very well to understand the sort of creatures women are.

http://www.amazon.com/Joel-Savage/e/B008SCTYI6