Discussing your problems with someone you love is the best way to get help and solutions to the problem.
“If one pretends to be dead, mourners will pretend to bury you alive,” is one of the thousands of African proverbs meant to educate, shape our lives and inspire us, as each proverb carries a moral lesson, advice, and wisdom. This particular proverb speaks against pretending.
As imperfect human beings, we are responsible for both the good and bad things we do. Whichever way one takes it, to pretend is also considered to be something bad. The question is why do people pretend? According to a study, pretending has both advantages and disadvantages.
Sometimes one needs to pretend. For example, when all of a sudden in a cinema hall, a gunman on a shooting spree takes everyone by surprise without any escaping route, pretending to be dead among those already dead could save your life. But in other ways, pretending can cause self-destruction, depression, loneliness and other psychological problems. How?
The pressure in the society is enormous. Things are not going well, yet many people prefer to hide their problems behind a false smile. If you don’t share your problem with your family or a trustworthy friend, how can someone know your problem to give the attention or help you need? Researchers reveal that hiding a problem behind a false smile or faking happiness, is more likely to bring you harmful feelings.
You might not be happy with your job, because your boss or a colleague is sexually harassing you, exploiting you physically, emotionally and mentally, yet you wear a false smile behind such psychological scars. Instead of pretending to be okay, it’s always better to tell your problem to someone to receive help.
Many wish to be someone, because of the extravagant lives other people live. But we must be careful about what we sometimes wish for. We must be content with whatever we have to live a happy life. Don’t let your neighbor’s expensive car, push you to live beyond your means, and put on a fake smile, deceiving people that you are living great, while you know that you are struggling to make ends meet.
In Africa and other countries around the world, many are believed to be sick of HIV but scared to go and see the doctor, because they aren’t ready to be told they have contracted HIV or Aids. They rather prefer to hide their problems with a fake smile, forgetting that no one drinks medicine on the behalf of a sick person.
To pretend that everything is okay, while suffering, is not good for our health, we must, therefore, confine our problems to those close to us for help and solutions. That’s the only way we can overcome and defeat our problems.